Cancer’s impact on your mental wellbeing
Cancer’s an emotional rollercoaster. It’s OK to find it tough to cope.
You’ll probably feel tonnes of emotions following a cancer diagnosis. Whether it happened yesterday or three years ago, your feelings are likely to change over time and you might not even know what you’re feeling or why you’re feeling it. Remember there’s no right or wrong way to feel and every experience of cancer is different. There’s so much support available for young people diagnosed with cancer and there are things you can try to help you cope, such as: Learning more about your cancer and treatments Talking about how you’re feeling Controlling what you can by advocating for yourself Trying not to lose touch with the things you love Getting creative Organising yourself Making time for self-care Having a routine Getting a good night’s sleep Asking for, and accepting, help Meet others who get it
Getting a cancer diagnosis is a curveball – and the impact it has on your mental wellbeing can be huge. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about cancer and your experiences. You might feel shocked, scared, sad, angry, frustrated, guilty, uncertain, lonely, relieved. All are valid.
You might get a lot of people telling you to stay positive (cos #toxicpositivity is real) but making space for everything you’re feeling is so crucial. Optimism goes a long way, but what about when you wanna scream into a pillow cos you’re p*ssed off with treatment? There’s space for it all.
Cancer is tough on both mind and body. If you’re finding things difficult, don’t be too hard on yourself. When you're living life alongside cancer, compassion is key.
Support with your mental health
The old adage is true. A problem shared is a problem halved. But knowing who to talk to can be tricky. And knowing when to talk can be just as hard.
The right people to speak to if you’re struggling are those who can listen well without judgement, support you in the ways you need to be supported, be honest with you and keep the things you tell them private. You’re in total control of what you talk about – so don’t feel like you have to talk about elements of your cancer if you don’t want to.
Who to speak to
Parents – If you have a good relationship with your parents, you might feel comfortable talking to them about how you’re feeling. Let them know how they can support you and, if you know, be honest with them about what you need from them in that moment. You might say something like “I know this is hard for you to hear, but I need to talk about how I’m feeling right now”.
Other family members: Other family members can be a really great support system. Not only are they slightly removed from the situation in a way parents aren’t but they can also offer different perspectives and speak to others on your behalf if you want them to.
Your medical team: Your team aren’t just there to talk about what’s going on for you physically. They can help with the emotional stuff too. Don’t feel like you’re wasting their time if you need to talk about your wellbeing as a whole. You can also reach out to your GP.
Professionals: Whatever you’re feeling, there’s a professionally trained person who can help you figure it out. They’re not emotionally connected so can be a great space to voice your fears, anger or anything else you’re grappling with. Check out Welldoing for a great directory of therapists and counsellors.
Support groups: The power of meeting others who get what you’re going through? Priceless. Talk about cancer, don’t talk about cancer. But support groups allow you to meet people with similar experiences. Our Online Community is a hub of people who know what it is to be diagnosed with cancer in your 20s or 30s, or to live with the late effects of a childhood cancer.
Friends: Maintaining friendships when cancers in the mix is really tricky. But that doesn’t mean your pals aren’t there for you. The reality is, some friends may be more receptive to supporting you during your treatment than others – figure out who can give you the support you need and take it from there.
Partners: Your partner is often right there with you in the thick of diagnosis, treatment and the aftermath. That can make them the perfect person to cry with, laugh with or explore whatever’s coming up for you.
Religious and community leaders: If you’re part of a religious group or any other community, you might be able to get support from a leader you know and trust in this space.
Coping strategies
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, worried or struggling with any other emotions, knowing you’ve got coping strategies to fall back on can help make things feel more manageable. These are some great ideas for coping strategies:
Learning more about your cancer and treatments: Information is power. When you’re feeling powerless, it can be helpful to find out more about what’s happening to you. Whether you want to get all the info up front or take it one step at a time, there’s no right or wrong way, but knowing what’s going on might help you feel more in control.
Talking about how you’re feeling: It might not feel like it, but there are people who want to help you (like those listed above!). But they're not mind readers. Be honest about how you’re feeling and ask for help if you feel like you need it.
Controlling what you can by advocating for yourself: Getting involved with your care can help you feel more in control. There’s so much that you can’t control when you’ve had a cancer diagnosis, but asking questions, taking notes, requesting follow-up information and understanding your rights are all helpful.
Trying not to lose touch with the things you love: You’re still a person. You’re not just a patient. Living life alongside cancer is about still doing the things you enjoy. Whether it’s seeing friends, watching movies, working out – it's all important. And doing these things can help us feel more connected to ourselves when we’re stressed.
Getting creative: Creativity is a great outlet for stress, anxiety, fear or anything else you’re feeling. Whether you’re a writer, an artist or a crocheter, making things can be a great coping mechanism during cancer treatment and beyond.
Organising yourself: Being organised can be another way to get back some control. A regular routine can help you feel like you know what’s what, while a to-do list can help you see what you’ve got to do and by when more clearly, minimising extra stress.
Making time for self-care: Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive massages, face masks and bubble baths. Self-care is about doing whatever makes you feel GOOD – and sometimes that can be as simple as brushing your teeth or managing your schedule around your fatigue.
Looking after your SHED: No, we’re not suggesting you take up DIY. SHED stands for sleep, hydration, exercise and diet. When we’re tired, thirsty, hungry or haven’t moved for a while, we’re not ourselves. Taking care of each of these elements of your wellbeing makes seeing the bigger picture easier.
Meet others who get it: Connecting with a community of people who know what it’s like to get cancer at a young age can help. Check out our online community.
When to get help
If you're concerned or worried about how you're thinking or feeling, and it’s been going on for two weeks or more, it’s worth thinking about going to see your GP. They can help you figure out any next steps and be a great listening ear for your problems. Check out this guide to talking to your GP if you need help.
Other resources
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